Safe At Home
by BabbleBaby
Summary: 6x05 extension. He'd broken more than one speed limit, in more than one state, but as he looked down at his slumbering son, and heard the pain his wife's voice he knew that he wasn't there nearly soon enough. He knew though, what really mattered, was that


**Title:** Safe At Home

**Rating:** K+

**Summary: **6x05 extension. He'd broken more than one speed limit, in more than one state, but as he looked down at his slumbering son, and heard the pain his wife's voice he knew that he wasn't there nearly soon enough. He knew though, what really mattered, was that they were together now.

**Authors Note:** This story is an episode tag for 6x05, and takes place a few hours after the episode ended. It's dedicated to **Kristen** (oth.daddy's.gurl.06) who turned 21 today – woo! I hope you like it sweetie, and had an awesome day! Thank you to **Ashley** (JLLover05) for betaing – and **Molly** (diamondmolls) for motivating!

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Standing in the doorway of his bedroom, Nathan's legs suddenly felt as though they were going to give way. The adrenaline that had been rushing through his veins since he'd gotten in touch with Haley earlier that day finally giving way to the fear that was gripping at his heart. Usually the sight of Haley and Jamie curled up in bed together would have made him smile, but there was such desperation in the way that Haley's arms were wrapped tightly around their child's small form, and the way Jamie's head was buried deeply in his mothers breasts making him appear even younger than his slight years, that meant the only thing he wanted to savour was the heavy weight of both of them in his embrace.

He'd seen a similar image many a times, when basketball had taken him away and he'd return home before expected to find his space already occupied by their son, both insisting he was there for the others comfort. This time Jamie wasn't sprawled out, fighting with his mother in his sleep for the covers, and there were no left over story books scattered across the bedspread, no happy sleepy smile lingered on Haley's lips from their son's opinion on the classic tale she'd just told him. He wasn't returning home from playing a game, interrupting their mama and son time, knowing they'd been missing him as madly as he had them. In fact, this trip may signify the end of the dream of ever returning home from playing a game ever again, but it didn't matter, not when he could see them there before him, close enough to hear their breathing in their sleep, to see the rise and fall of their chests, to know what he'd had to see for himself to know. That they were okay, they were safe, they were home. NBA or no NBA, he was never leaving them again.

"I'm not asleep." Her voice was barely a whisper, and her eyes stayed shut but he didn't think he'd heard a more beautiful sound than the strength that was behind it.

He tried to speak, but he couldn't form the words, not knowing what he wants to say he crosses the room and kneels next to her side of the bed, brushing back her bangs from her forehead, and her eyes fluttered open as his lips touched her skin.

"We're okay." She promised him, hearing his unanswered question. "We're okay."

He nodded, swallowing the tears that lay thick in his throat. The relief of being able to touch her, that he can put to rest all those horrible nightmares that played through his head, overwhelming him. When Jamie had called him from the hospital, having gotten hold of Haley's cell phone while she was talking to the police and cried that the mean people wouldn't let him see his Mama, Nathan had been mostly confused at first. Having answered the call from where he was sitting in the hotel bar nursing a beer and contemplating his future while waiting on Haley to return the message he'd left her in response to one she'd left him. He hadn't been able to make much sense out of Jamie, his confusion being over clouded by fear as the boy's words became faster, one merging into the next, his usually well spoken child regressing to a toddler, bumbling over his words unable to get them out as fast as brain wanted him to. Eventually Skills had pried the phone from Jamie's hands, telling Nathan not to freak out but something had happened. He'd already been up to his room and chucked the few things he'd brought with him into his bag before Skills had finished his story, explaining that Deb had called him on the way to the hospital, and she was having her wrist looked at while the police spoke to Haley, and so he'd taken Jamie to get some ice cream in hopes of calming the child down.

Shifting over on the bed Haley tore her eyes from Jamie's face, something she'd been struggling to do all evening, and looked over at the clock while she made a small space for Nathan to climb onto the bed behind them, resting her head eagerly back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around them both and held them close, kissing first her head, and then Jamie's. "I thought you couldn't get a flight until the morning."

"I drove." He ran his hands through Jamie's hair, soothing the whimpers that had started to escape as he tussled in his sleep. He'd finally gotten to speak to Haley when he was at the airport, arguing with the desk clerk that he had to get back to North Carolina tonight, whatever the price, and as quickly as possible. Her voice had been so quiet, so scared and child like it had broken his heart. She told him Carrie was dead, that Dan had shot her, she'd told him she loved him, and he'd of course said it back, wishing he could show her just how much he meant it as she cried down the phone. She said she hadn't wanted to call him, to make him worry now that everything was alright but she'd needed to hear his voice, needed him to come home. He'd insisted that he was on his way, and would be there as fast as humanly possible, Jamie had called out for her and she'd reluctantly hung up, promising to tell him more when he got home, making him promise to get home safe. Sensing Nathan's urgency the clerk had took pity, refunding his return ticket and pointing him in the direction of car rental, saying that he'd probably get home quicker if he drove.

"I spoke to you six hours ago, Nathan, Indiana's like a ten hour drive away." She looked him in the eye for the first time and he couldn't help but tighten his hold around her as he took in the red and swollen state of her eyes. The hollowness that replaced the warmth that had shone from them the last time he'd seen her.

"I told you I'd get home as soon as humanly possible, Hales."

They lay there, holding on to each other and their child, listening to their breathing synchronising in the darkness as the world outside of the windows seemed to stand still, and Haley savoured the feeling of being sandwiched between the two most important people in her life, to be able to feel their hearts beating, to know without a shadow of a doubt that they were okay. They were there. They were hers.

"Baby, go to sleep." Nathan urged, watching Haley fight to keep her eyes open and focussed on their son. "I'm here."

It was tempting, to close her eyes, knowing her husband was there to watch over them, to forget this day ever happened and dream of a time when this would be so very behind them, but she couldn't, even if she wanted to. "I can't."

"You can, I'll watch over you both, nothing's going to happen, Hales." He buried his head in the crook of her shoulder breathing in her scent, pressing his lips against hers, relishing in the fact that he could finally feel her, taste her, hold her in his arms and know she was there with him, it felt like a lifetime since his heart had stopped when the words Mama, and Hospital, had fallen from his young sons lips.

"I promised the doctor I wouldn't." The tentative peace that had settled over him disappeared, and he drew away from her, reaching over and caressing her jaw, coaxing her to turn away from Jamie and look at him.

"What do you mean you promised the doctor?" His tone was slightly harder than he'd intended, but all that fear had rushed back. Wasn't she okay?

"They wanted me to stay in for observation, but," She glanced down at Jamie, and then back up at Nathan with tears in her eyes, desperation breaking in her voice. "I couldn't not be with him tonight. I needed to be with him, to hold him, to watch him to sleep. He needed me to be with him."

"Why did they want you to stay at the hospital?"

"I have a concussion," His eyes widened, his nostrils flared, that protective streak she loved so much shining through clearly as his eyes roamed over her, looking for injury, and the familiar nature of it all made a small smile tug at her lips as she tried to joke away his anxiety. "It's mild, I'm sure it's nothing worse than the last one I gave myself running head first into a stripper pole."

"You didn't do this to yourself." His voice was low, gravely and pained. He couldn't believe he'd allowed this to happen, allowed his family to get hurt. For Haley to be risking her health to be with their child, for Jamie to be clinging to his mother so tightly in his sleep her skin was reddened under his small finger tips. "God, Hales, what did she do to you?"

Shaking her head Haley's breath sped up and her heart thumped so loudly in her chest she was sure it would wake the child slumbered against it as she prepared to relive her nightmare. She gulped, licking her lips and preparing to speak, her husband's penetrating stare clear to her even in the darkness. "I have to be most gullible person in the world."

"Haley..." He ran his hand down her back, shocked to feel her begin to shake against him.

"She rang the house this morning," She tore her eyes from his, unable to look at him as she told him she'd endangered their son, put him in reach of that woman. Again. "And I just knew there was something familiar about her voice but she had this accent, and I couldn't place it, and then she said she was Dan's hospice care."

"Baby, it's not your fault."

"It is, I took him there Nathan! I ignored the voice in my head telling me something was wrong, and I took Jamie to her!" Her voice cracked with tears as buried her face into Jamie's hair, breathing in his scent, rocking him against her. Terrified for her, desperate to soothe her Nathan did the same, holding them both against him and letting her rock them all gently.

"You didn't know."

"But I should have, I should have known today, and I should have known the first time she walked into our yard," She shuddered at the memory, her voice thick, her eyes shining, "with her hands on Jamie's back and smiling at me like she was here to make everything okay again, and like the naive idiot that I am I believed her."

"You're not an idiot." He once again pressed his lips to her, wishing he could find the words to say to take away the fear, to make her realise none of this was her fault. "None of us knew what she was going to do."

"I'm his mother, Nathan, I'm not meant to put my child in harms way. I'm supposed to protect him from these people, not bring them to him!" Her voice was quiet, careful not to wake the slumbering child, but her tone was harsh, the venom behind the accusations she was throwing at herself made him feel physically ill as he could feel the way she hated herself in that moment.

"You didn't know Hales," He wasn't even sure she'd heard him as she showed no reaction to his words, he cupped her jaw in his hands and turned her toward him, holding her chin tightly between his thumb and finger, forcing her to look at him when he spoke. "There is no way you could have known what she'd be like."

"But what about after I knew," She tried to turn away from him, tears falling from her eyes, she didn't want to be looking at him when he realised she was right, that this was all her fault. "After she nearly broke us up, after she took him away from us. I just carried on, I let him play in the yard, I let him play in the park, I let him walk to the car after school. I knew she was out there, I knew she wanted him, and I didn't do anything about it."

"The police were looking for her, Hales, we had to go on with her our lives."

"How? How could we just go on with our lives knowing she was out there intent to ruin it, she wanted everything that was dear to me, she nearly succeeded and I just pretended she didn't exist, like she wasn't a problem in our lives." He felt sick, watching his usually strong wife breaking before him, he leant forward resting his forehead against hers, his arms wrapped around her slight form, holding her in a way that cradled their child between them.

"Oh, God, baby, it wasn't your fault, you have to know this wasn't your fault." He should have been there with them, he should have been able to stop them from having to go through this ordeal, it all went back to his selfish behaviour last year, and he wondered if that dark period would haunt them forever.

"You're blaming yourself." He didn't know why, it shouldn't surprise him by now, but it shocked him that she knew what he was thinking. Even as she crumbled away in self doubt she had enough strength to fight his. "You were sick, Nathan. You were hurt, and you were depressed, and you remember what the therapist said, if Carrie had been that intent on being in our lives she would have found a way regardless of whether you'd been fit and healthy."

He couldn't help but laugh a little at the irony and kiss her confused expression away softly. "How can you see that for me, but not for you?"

"Because I kept making the same mistake, again and again. I ignored the feeling that she was trying to replace me in Jamie's life, and the one that told me she wanted you, and I pushed down the paranoia, and insecurity, and then I ignored every thing inside of me screaming at me to never let Jamie out of my sight ever again, when he came home and told us that Dan had saved him, and I didn't wait for you to call me back to decide whether we should let Jamie visit Dan, and when I pulled up at that house today I knew something was wrong. It was in the middle of nowhere, it was unkempt, it was not a place your father would have chosen to die in, and instead of turning the car around and driving away I left Jamie in the car alone, and went inside."

"You should have called me," Or he should have called sooner, his first instinct when his hope had been dashed had been to call Haley, to get as much comfort from her as he could from so many miles away, but instead he'd waited, wanting to process it himself before he explained it to his wife, and even more so to his son. It seemed they both needed to learn to trust their instincts a little more, go back to being sixteen when she'd listened to hers and could see more than just the screwed up rich boy, and his had told him to legally make her his before she had a chance to figure out how beneath her he really was.

"And said what? Nathan I know you're possibly in the most important meeting of your life but this old house is creeping me out." She tried to move out of his hold but he wouldn't let her, his strong arms locked around her, keeping her tight to him, if she wouldn't believe his words maybe she could feel that it wasn't her fault. "Jamie just wanted to see his grandpa so bad, and he's so little, and he's been through so much, and I put him through this today. She chased him, Nathan, she made our five year old run with fear, when I grabbed him, god, he was shaking, his whole body was shaking he was so scared, no child should feel terror like that, especially our child, not my baby!"

Her voice grew louder as her emotions got the better of her and Jamie stirred in his sleep, and she immediately struggled out of her husband's arms to comfort her son, shushing him back to sleep like she had when he was baby. "It's okay baby, Mama's here. Mama's sorry. God Mama's so sorry."

He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't cope with feeling so helpless to her pain. He moved off the bed, and held his hand out to her, whispering her name with force, cautious of Jamie sleeping in her arms. "Haley."

She shook her head, stroking a hand through Jamie's hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

"We're not leaving the room Hales, I promise, he'll be okay. Please." Reluctantly she moved Jamie so he was laid on the bed, watching as he snuggled down into her pillow, and held the covers to himself, still sleeping contently. Even in her anxious state she couldn't deny her husbands plea, especially as much as she craved his presence right now.

He took his hand and guided her across the room, sitting down on the window seat and guiding her to straddle his lap, waiting until she eventually stopped craning her neck to watch their son, before holding her gaze as he held her to him. "None of this is your fault."

"But –"

He placed a finger to her lips, shaking his head in a bid to silence her. "Haley. The only person who's to blame is Carrie. You're not naive for trusting her, I love that you want to see the good in people, in the world. It's part of what makes you the amazing woman that you are. It's why we are the couple we are today, and I hate that she took advantage of that, made you doubt yourself and the way you view people. Without you seeing the good in people I wouldn't be who I am. Quentin wouldn't have realised he was a bigger person than just basketball, and Jamie wouldn't be the amazing little boy he is. It's all you baby, and you are at no fault for what happened today."

"But if I hadn't..." She tried, squirming a little in his lap as she listened to his words, knowing that he was right, that the blame for today's events lay with a woman who could no longer harm them, even if it felt like she always would.

"If you hadn't what? If you hadn't wanted Jamie to grow up knowing that he said goodbye to Dan, the way he couldn't with Q. If you hadn't been a good enough person that you wanted to help Dan when you saw he was in trouble, even though you could easily have justified that he didn't deserve it."

"I didn't save anybody though. She knocked me unconscious before I could help Dan, your Mom smashed a champagne bottle in her face when she was gaining on me and Jamie, and Dan shot her when she was going to hurt your Mom, and I. Who wouldn't even have been there if she hadn't been coming to find me and Jamie..."

"Hales," With just one word he begged her, to listen to him, to understand what he was telling her. He had to make her understand that she wasn't at fault in any of this.

"No, Nathan, I know okay." She shook her head, looking back over her shoulder at Jamie who appeared to still be sleeping peacefully before turning back to her husband, seeing the love, adoration, and relief that he'd been looking at her with since he'd came home, but she'd been so intent to ignore, sure that it would fade away when he realised the kind of danger she'd put their son in. "I know that there was something wrong with her. That normal people don't go around wanting to steal people's lives, and this screwed up version of some crappy soap opera that our life has turned into can't be put down to my making some bad choices, but as his mother, if Jamie is in danger, it's my responsibility..."

"I'm his parent too Hales, and I feel responsible too when I know something's happened. I'm supposed to protect him, I'm supposed to protect you. Ever since I spoke to Skills, and he told me vaguely what had happened I've been beating myself up about not being here, but Haley, we can't change the past, you're okay. Jamie's okay. We're all together, and I love you both so much. That's what matters right, you do know that?"

She nodded, sniffling, "I know, and I love you too, and am so glad you're home, even though I'm really mad at you for speeding."

He shook his head, smiling at her and brushing some hair off her face. "Only you could think of that right now."

"You could have been hurt!" She reprimanded, not wanting to think about how easily Carrie's actions could have cost her both her boys, images of Nathan speeding down the highway frantically toward them flashing through her mind.

"But I wasn't, we're all safe and together, remember?" He could feel her beginning to relax, knowing that partially was the best he could hope for tonight. Asking for more would have been hypocritical, his own body was still a buzz with nerves, with what could have been, and what might linger from today.

"Promise you won't do that again?" She asked, needing to know that he'd never do anything to risk not being around for as long as possible. All she'd been able to think about was how much Jamie and Nathan meant to her, how she was pretty sure she would actually die of a broken heart if either were taken from her.

"I promise." He nodded, and let go of a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding when she shifted closer to him and let herself fall against his body, letting him hold her completely for the first time that night. "Oh it feels so good to hold you."

"Feels good to be held." Her words were muffled against his chest, as she wrapped her arms around him, holding him closer still, needing to feel him around her, have him remind her that they were all okay, and that he loved her, and needed her as much as she needed him, tonight especially.

They sat in silence, revelling in the feel of being in each other's arms, watching their son sleep across the room, safe in his own home, under their watchful eyes. Eyes he wouldn't be far from anytime soon.

Haley had pried herself from Nathan's arms before he'd even noticed Jamie stirring, and by the time he was crying her name she was already climbing up onto the bed.

"I'm here, baby, Mama's here." Jamie crawled into his mother's lap, throwing his arms around her neck, desperate for her to calm his fears as she'd held him to sleep a couple of hours earlier. "Are you okay?"

"She got you, Mama! She got you and she..."

"Shush…baby, no, no." She kissed his forehead, and tried her best to smile a bright reassuring smile to her little one. "I'm here, and she will never ever come back again, I promise. Look, Daddy's home."

Nathan smiled at Jamie whose head snapped over to his fathers form, feeling an amazing rush of love when the little boy ran across the bed toward him throwing himself into his father's arms. "Nanny Carrie came back, Daddy, she came back."

Holding the crying child to him Nathan sat down on the bed next to Haley, and shared a sad smile over their son's shoulder, reaching out and holding onto Haley's hand as she cried silently at their son's fears. "But she's never coming back again son, and we're all okay."

"She said, she said she was my mama now, and then Mama..." As if mentioning Haley's name reminded him of her presence Jamie moved back toward his Mom, his tears stopped as he snuggled into her embrace, seeking the comfort that only she could provide, to know that his crazy nanny had been wrong, that Haley was his mama, always would be, just as she'd promised him earlier.

"She's gone now Jamie, Mommy and Daddy promise she'll never hurt any of us again." Nathan insisted, and Jamie turned to him, his eyes sleepy but questioning as he looked at Haley, who nodded that his dad was right, and then over at Nathan.

"Gone like Quentin?" He asked softly, unsure if they meant gone like his friend, or gone like the last time when she hadn't really been gone at all.

"Yeah baby," Haley stroked her son's hair, hating that he'd been through so much pain in his young life, swearing to god that she would never let him suffer again. That he'd always be happy and safe. "Like Quentin."

"Is she in heaven?" Jamie asked after a few silent moments, in which they'd moved so he was laid between his parents.

The young parents locked eyes, so much of their young son's innocence had already been taken away, did they make death something he would fear, instead of conjuring up images of his friend and great Uncle playing basketball on top of the clouds.

"If she's in heaven can she hurt Q?"

Haley wanted to cry, he'd been through so much that day and yet his prevailing thought was that his friend might be in danger from the woman who'd hurt them. "No, baby, she won't hurt Q I promise."

"Cause Lily's daddy will protect him? Cause Q's our family and so Uncle Keith will protect him, like Grandma Deb and Mama saved me today, right?" He asked innocently, and for a moment it felt like all the pain and heartache was healed, even with everything he'd been through he still saw the good.

"Yes Jamie, I promise, your Uncle Keith will make sure that Carrie doesn't hurt anybody ever again."

"That's good." Jamie nodded, turning to look nervously at his dad, "Hey Daddy?"

"Yeah bud?" The child was slowly drifting back to sleep, no matter what had happened he couldn't feel safer than with his Mom and Dad.

"I can still sleep here, now that you're home right? You'll take care of me and Mama?"

"Always, son. You can go to sleep, I won't let anything happen." It seemed as though Jamie fell asleep instantly at his fathers reassurance, he still trusted them so implicitly that neither felt worthy of it.

"I think he needs to see someone, Nathan." She couldn't bear to think of her bright happy child being haunted by this day, the things he'd seen, the things he'd heard, it was bad enough he had to experience them once, she wouldn't allow it to shape who he became.

"Okay." Even if he thought it was a bad idea he wouldn't have argued with her tonight. He never would have wanted a child of his to be in therapy, but he could never have imagined his son going through everything he had, and Jamie's well being and happiness was so much more important than his pride in his parenting skills.

"How did it go today?" Her question struck him as odd, it seemed to come from nowhere, and it took him a few moments to register what she was asking.

"It doesn't matter." He answered because it was simply the truth, all that mattered right now was being with her and Jamie. Basketball could always wait for tomorrow, his family would never have to.


End file.
